RSS Feed

Tag Archives: sjogren’s

For The Spouses

0136
I know it’s not easy. I know that it’s difficult to be the 25 year old guy in the office who has ‘the sick wife’. As a kid you didn’t dream of one day telling your boss you’re taking a month of leave to care for your 24 year old, bed-ridden, wife. You didn’t expect to know what biologics, NSAID’s, or vestibular therapy was. I know watching me cry in pain, wrack up medical bills, and needing extra help is exhausting. Spouses of people with chronic illness deserve so much more credit than we give them.

When my husband and I met I only had one diagnosis [RA/RD] but told him upfront that it was going to affect his life if we were to date. For whatever reason he ignored this warning and I am so grateful that he did. Several additional diagnosis [Fibromyalgia/Sjogren’s] later Ethan is still hanging in there. My husband does his best to cheer me up of my most difficult days and helps me take advantage of my good ones. Ethan is my constant cheerleader who provides me with some much needed optimism on my worst days.

So cheers to the Spoonie Spouses,

RASupergirl

Advertisements

Hell or High Water

Thus far all field research has proved I am immortal. Well, at least more difficult to kill than anticipated. The side effects of the Benlysta lasted quite a bit longer than anticipated. The psychological impact was a surprise for all involved, luckily I’m doing better now. Through some act of god my teachers allowed me to finish my school work over winter break [well one JUST got finished]. In fact, upon receiving my email explaining the situation they had a group meeting and figured out what needed to be done in order for me to graduate on time and finish out the semester.  I realize I am incredibly lucky/blessed to have teachers who are so willing to go up to bat for me. Not a single one asked for a shred of evidence, they took me at my word. This is absolutely amazing considering the nature of my situation and how damn weird it is. Thanks to them I was able to keep my internship and am almost done with my student teaching. This is not to say there haven’t been issues.

For instance:

  • Right now I am having hip and shoulder issues and doubled up on my Celebrex.
  • I can’t feel my hands and feet intermittently due to peripheral neuropathy.
  • Steroid shots.
  • My rheumatologist wants me to seek treatment for my hands [who has time for that?]
  • I’m still getting headaches even though I just had my Botox treatment.
  • Fevers.
  • Intermittently needing my cane.

Despite this laundry list of grossness, I need to focus on my goals. My husband and I are buying a house [we move in 3 weeks, I have packed nothing], I graduate in a just over a month, and I am fielding multiple job offers. These are all things I had at one point or another seen as impossible. These are the things I strive for, this is what beating RA looks like. I know I will never be who I was before I was sick, just like I know there is no cure. My definition of beating RA has been altered, I once thought that meant a cure. I now know that beating RA is living your damn life.

Tis But a Scratch

14670857_1865410917078632_3218349752581937588_n

So I recently drove down to Texas to see my rheumatologist for a checkup. It was a bit discouraging to say the least. Right off the bat she told me I looked a little worse for the wear between my dark under eye circles and super sexy hobble. It would appear that the stress of my current course load combined with life has made for one hell of a flare. She gently suggested I take some time off of school to try and get my health back on track. I informed her that as someone in the 6th year of a bachelor’s I was going to graduate this May even if it killed me. I told her I just need to make it 7 more weeks, then off to student teaching. We did find that I am developing some hip problems on the right side. She is concerned about the potential of a labral tear developing due to the amount of stiffness and clicking. To me it almost feels like something is stuck in my hip socket, sort of like my joint has a small marble or some sandpaper in it. The rheumatologist said that we may need to look at treating it if it doesn’t improve in the next few months. She didn’t go into what treating it would entail, honestly I think we need to backburner the issue for now. The largest issue in my world right now is the crippling exhaustion. I’m back to sleeping 12 hours and feeling like I have only heard rumors of sleep. It is possible that this is tied to finally being off of my prednisone or me discontinuing my thyroid treatment [due to accidentally being over-medicated]. The current plan is to drag myself through this semester and meet with my rheumatologist in December.

GOOD NEWS [because we need some]: We figured out what those terrible side pains are! It was caused by the intercostal muscles on the right side spasming. We are not exactly sure as to what caused them initially, but an extremely talented massage therapist has been able to get them under control. More or less they now appear to be gone! I REPEAT GONE!

My friends and family have been really encouraging despite all of the current weirdness. They are seriously the best and have helped me stay afloat this long ❤

Avoidance

13690794_1148383598543953_1490155084850391159_n

I haven’t been writing. Not here, and not at all. If/when I write about something it makes it more real to me. However I set out with the intention of full transparency when I started RA Supergirl years ago. So let’s get honest, things have been bad. I was in a fender bender over the summer and it kicked my RA up in a really weird way. Then I started the most difficult semester I will ever be in. People in my program tend to average 3-6 hours of sleep and are under immense stress. This has only made things worse on my end. I am failing a class despite making Dean’s List last semester. I’m so tired and my pain level so high that I can’t focus on my assignments. There are times when I become so anxious that I want to curl up under my desk and stay there. I’ve started to develop rheumatoid nodules on my hands, this indicates things may be worse than we thought. I feel like a failure as a wife, I have been too sick to grocery shop for 2 weeks [thank god for Blueapron]. I just started a month-long Prednisone treatment in an attempt to arrest what is going on.

All that aside there have been some positive developments in my world as well. I have an interview for an excellent opportunity in urban education next week. I finally went off the thyroid medication that was making me sick [more on that later]. My crazy supportive husband has been doing his best to help me despite being in grad student hell a the moment. Rosh Hashanah is just around the corner along with the other high holidays, I’m really excited for that. Finally, I started a job as an entomology lab technician, I really enjoy it! As a whole I’m trying to look at what could be rather than what currently is.

I’m sorry this was not an inspirational post, but it was an honest one.

 

Because I’m Crazy [Pre-PCT 1]

Posted on

il_570xN.771843125_3yhc

I have decided to do something absolutely insane, allow me to explain. I have decided that I will be hiking the Pacific Crest Trail [PCT] roughly a year from now. This trail goes from Mexico to Canada, is 2,650 miles long and takes 4-6 months to complete on average. This is about the time that people say “But what about your rheumatoid arthritis [or fibro, or sjogren’s, etc…]”. To which I say, “doesn’t that make it all the more impressive”. I have done my due diligence to ensure I take care of myself on the trail. I have spoken with my rheumatologist about how to get biologics on the trail. We decided switching from my Actemra IV to Actemra subq may be the way to go. She is fully supportive of this endeavor and is amazed with my turnaround. Considering 2 years ago I was so sick I wanted to die and practically crawled to Mayo Clinic, this is nothing short of amazing. I read about the PCT a few years ago and thought, “I wish I was healthy enough to do this”. Now I can, and I will.

“Why now?” is also a question I have been hearing a lot. Well, about that. My RA/RD is currently under control and I intend to take advantage of this. Additionally I will be graduating next May with an education degree. In Oklahoma. During a hiring freeze. So, due to the fact that only rural districts are hiring [which you always get stuck in] I will be taking off for 6 months and praying Oklahoma can figure out it’s current budget crisis. This is the only time in my life that I have limited responsibilities, I only have my husband to worry about.

Now they say you only need 12  weeks of training before leaving for the trail. Then I thought to myself 52 weeks of practice seems pretty good too. I have begun my doing 60-90 minutes of cardio 4-5 times a week and began resistance training to strengthen my core and back. I’m 4 weeks into this training and so far my body has held up with no, I repeat NO issues. My calves are so muscular I could probably just hop into a low flying helicopter*. My amazingly kind and understanding husband will be mailing me my oral medications as I continue down the trail. I have started making my own dehydrated meals, can make a fire out of anything, and learned how to layer like a pro. I will not be unprepared. I will continue to update as we get closer to my departure.

PCT (1)

Hart’s Pass, Washington

*Please do not attempt this.

 

 

 

Almost Human

safe

I’m excited to announce that I’m starting to be a person again. Not simply in terms of my physical health but my emotional health as well. It is difficult to explain to individuals who don’t suffer from chronic illness, but I’ll try. When you become life-alteringly ill you hopes and dreams sort of cease to exist. It sneaks up on you, sometimes over a few months, others a few years, but it happens. You begin to become “sub-human”, or at least feel it, you aren’t what you were and basic tasks seem impossible. For this reason [and others] many individuals with chronic illness become depressed. For me this has shifted, I no longer feel like a muted and broken person, I feel whole again. I largely attribute this to the incredible success of the Actemra IV along with making a conscious effort to try and pull myself out of my “sub-human” state. I am feeling so well in fact that I have begun training for an endurance backpacking trip in a little over a year [more on that later]. All of this has been to say, don’t lose hope. Even though you cannot control your health you can control your reaction to it, you either get bitter or you get better, I choose better. I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge your negative emotions on the issue, just don’t let them rule you. Ranting aside, I’m just so happy to feel functional again, it has been way too long.

Actemra and Spines

whoop ass

Good News! As of a month ago my rheumatologist told me I’m in the best shape she has ever seen me! We also decided it was finally time to begin treatment for the chronic dry mouth my Sjogren’s has caused. I started Evoxac roughly a month ago and it has been FANTASTIC! I had no idea that it was possible to eat without food getting stuck in my throat or to talk without my mouth being so dry it clicked. My insurance covers most of the generic so I am most excited. The Actemra has continued to help massively without needing to increase the dose. I am now experiencing significantly less side effects; my mouth sores are considerably less severe, the fatigue is no longer crippling, my kidney’s stopped getting infections, and it no longer gives me a headache. Apparently it is surprisingly common for Actemra to cause some not-so-fun side effects right off the bat but tends to become more mild over time.

Spines, we need them. Much of my life I have had back pain for one reason or another, be it sports, rheumatoid disease, car accidents, or simply sleeping wrong. My spine has become hypermobile in some places and hypomobile in others. Essentially that means that certain vertebrae tend to get pulled out of alignment and others refuse to move at all. Since I my RA/RD is suddenly under control I have been able to identify this problem which has likely been going on for a reasonably long time. I started attending physical therapy for the 9th time last week. I cannot speak highly enough of my new PT! Both him and the student he is teaching are incredibly knowledgable about the joint complications that RA/RD, fibromyalgia, and my various surgeries. They have designed a special care program for me that is working around my cervical vertebrae as the ligaments are at risk due to the RA/RD [the most dangerous/lethal part of RA/RD]. I will be in PT for 2 weeks and then evaluated for change, should I not improve in this time I will be sent to a back specialist due to concerns of long term damage.

The one thing that is giving me a tough time currently is the liver spasms that continue to cause pain, nausea, and vomiting. I  am waiting to see my GI in 2 weeks to find out what/why this is happening. I no longer have a gallbladder so it can’t be that at least.

Overall this has been a month of good news health wise and I am very hopeful.

Young Yet Infertile

Surviving an unexpected pregnancy & single motherhood after IVF, miscarriage, heartbreak & divorce

PITMINI

I'M NOT LUCKY BUT BLESSED

Rheumi Warrior

The pain you feel today, is the strength you have tomorrow!

Carla's Corner

Day by day with RA ...

Teachers In UAE

Have you ever taught or are thinking about teaching in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates

WalkingThroughPain

Join me as I live my life with Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, and Fibromyalgia

Lachlan + Cathy

Welcome to the House of Payne

Queer Guess Code

Unraveling Sex and Gender in Pop Culture

Does Your Journey Seem Long?

Living in the Colors...

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.