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Lucky ūüćÄ

xxx52bzThese past few days I have been trying to focus on the good. I am lucky that I didn’t get something worse in my IV. I’m lucky that I have the friends and family I do that support me. Honestly if I didn’t have the support system I do, this would have been a devastating hit. While this is no means ideal, it is not going to be the end of me. I have worked with all but one professor to ensure my ability to work from home and finish out the last few weeks of of this semester. My professors have rallied around me in a way I had not anticipated, for this I am eternally grateful. I owe all my professors so much for how gracious they have been regarding the situation. I am hopeful that I will be able to finish out my semester and begin my student teaching in January as planned.

Now as far as the physical symptoms from the Benlysta go, they have been pretty consistent. I have been sleeping between 13-16 hours and waking up exhausted. I have a hefty dose of headaches and nausea. I have been drinking stomach soothing tea and eating candied ginger like no ones business [I strongly recommend both for medication induced nausea]. Thankfully the chills have let up but I am still rocking a fever. Hopefully things will start to level out as my body has a chance to process this crap out of my blood. We will see how things are going once we start running labs.

 

You Did WHAT?!?!

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Dear friends, something terrible has happened, let me explain.

Today I received a call from the infusion clinic I go to informing me that they accidentally gave me the wrong infusion. That’s right THE WRONG CHEMO ENTIRELY. They informed me that I received a round of a high dose Lupus drug called Benlysta. My doctor then told me I couldn’t receive my actual RA infusion for a month. I am already in survival mode so this is quite the disaster. The doctor told me in her 10 years she had never seen this happen, the RN at the IV center said never in her 11 years, and finally the hospital told me a switch like this has literally NEVER occurred. Lucky me. The Benlysta they game me has given me some pretty gross nausea, fever, chills, and headache, luckily that seems to be the extent of it [EDIT: it was not, there was more crap]. I am still livid with the hospital for making such a preventable mistake. For christ sake it passed through 3 checkpoints and no one caught it. I am pissed off that things are about to go sideways and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. Moral of the story,¬†I am literally the unluckiest patient in Oklahoma.

Avoidance

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I haven’t been writing. Not here, and not at all. If/when I write about something it makes it more real to me. However I set out with the intention of full transparency when I started RA Supergirl years ago. So let’s get honest, things have been bad. I was in a fender bender over the summer and it kicked my RA up in a really weird way. Then I started the most difficult semester I will ever be in. People in my program tend to average 3-6 hours of sleep and are under immense stress. This has only made things worse on my end. I am failing a class despite making Dean’s List last semester. I’m so tired and my pain level so high that I can’t focus on my assignments. There are times when I become so anxious that I want to curl up under my desk and stay there. I’ve started to develop rheumatoid nodules on my hands, this indicates things may be worse than we thought. I feel like a failure as a wife, I have been too sick to grocery shop for 2 weeks [thank god for Blueapron].¬†I just started a month-long¬†Prednisone treatment in an attempt to arrest what is going on.

All that aside there have been some positive developments in my world as well. I have an interview for an excellent opportunity in urban education next week. I finally went off the thyroid medication that was making me sick [more on that later]. My crazy supportive husband has been doing his best to help me despite being in grad student hell a the moment. Rosh Hashanah¬†is just around the corner along with the other high holidays, I’m really excited for that. Finally, I started a job as an entomology lab technician, I really enjoy it! As a whole I’m trying to look at what could be rather than what currently is.

I’m sorry this was not an inspirational post, but it was an honest one.

 

A misinformed opinion

68487_459509900770933_1239083196_nWhen I was first diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis my first instinct was to research it online as much as I could. The first web site that I found described RA as “uncomfortable” and “easily treatable”. For those of you who do not have RA let me say that it is way more than “uncomfortable”, it slows you down and can be very painful, and often does affect other aspects of your health. As I started looking at the more scholarly medical journal side of things I realized that the picture of RA that I had painted based on what I had initially found was grossly inaccurate. I feel that as a whole we have been misled as to what exactly having RA means to an individual and their life. Drug¬†commercials¬†for medications such as Enbrel and Humira show their patients completely resuming normal life as if nothing was ever wrong, but this is not a realistic depiction of treatments.

 

However when all is said and done there have been amazing advances in the treatment of RA patients even since the 1990’s. With new treatments being developed the way of life that these¬†initial¬†web sites offered does seem to be somewhat in reach but still a ways off. In the long run if I only have to deal with occasional flare ups that wouldn’t be the end of the world.

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