I’m excited to announce that I’m starting to be a person again. Not simply in terms of my physical health but my emotional health as well. It is difficult to explain to individuals who don’t suffer from chronic illness, but I’ll try. When you become life-alteringly ill you hopes and dreams sort of cease to exist. It sneaks up on you, sometimes over a few months, others a few years, but it happens. You begin to become “sub-human”, or at least feel it, you aren’t what you were and basic tasks seem impossible. For this reason [and others] many individuals with chronic illness become depressed. For me this has shifted, I no longer feel like a muted and broken person, I feel whole again. I largely attribute this to the incredible success of the Actemra IV along with making a conscious effort to try and pull myself out of my “sub-human” state. I am feeling so well in fact that I have begun training for an endurance backpacking trip in a little over a year [more on that later]. All of this has been to say, don’t lose hope. Even though you cannot control your health you can control your reaction to it, you either get bitter or you get better, I choose better. I’m not saying you can’t acknowledge your negative emotions on the issue, just don’t let them rule you. Ranting aside, I’m just so happy to feel functional again, it has been way too long.