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Avoidance

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I haven’t been writing. Not here, and not at all. If/when I write about something it makes it more real to me. However I set out with the intention of full transparency when I started RA Supergirl years ago. So let’s get honest, things have been bad. I was in a fender bender over the summer and it kicked my RA up in a really weird way. Then I started the most difficult semester I will ever be in. People in my program tend to average 3-6 hours of sleep and are under immense stress. This has only made things worse on my end. I am failing a class despite making Dean’s List last semester. I’m so tired and my pain level so high that I can’t focus on my assignments. There are times when I become so anxious that I want to curl up under my desk and stay there. I’ve started to develop rheumatoid nodules on my hands, this indicates things may be worse than we thought. I feel like a failure as a wife, I have been too sick to grocery shop for 2 weeks [thank god for Blueapron]. I just started a month-long Prednisone treatment in an attempt to arrest what is going on.

All that aside there have been some positive developments in my world as well. I have an interview for an excellent opportunity in urban education next week. I finally went off the thyroid medication that was making me sick [more on that later]. My crazy supportive husband has been doing his best to help me despite being in grad student hell a the moment. Rosh Hashanah is just around the corner along with the other high holidays, I’m really excited for that. Finally, I started a job as an entomology lab technician, I really enjoy it! As a whole I’m trying to look at what could be rather than what currently is.

I’m sorry this was not an inspirational post, but it was an honest one.

 

Hormones Gone Wild

Morticia

Today I met with a hormone specialist due to a suggestion from my mother. She told me she had low thyroid and it was likely genetic and urged me to pay a visit to her doctor, good call mom. After some blood tests and thyroid tests it was determined that I have incredibly low thyroid and the metabolism of an elderly sloth. This explains why I can’t seem to lose weight no matter what I do and why I have such bad fatigue even when my fibromyalgia is under control. I start taking adrenal support supplements, iodine treatments, and thyroid medication this next week and anticipate positive change. They told me I may feel better immediately or it could take several months, I am hoping for the former. They also told me my difficult periods and fibrous breast tissue is related to most of my hormones being out of whack and even explain my nausea and vomiting! As a result of this information I am thinking I will postpone my endoscopy for a few months and see if this helps the nausea. Something that was interesting was that my blood results mimicked those of someone with Hashimoto’s which is an autoimmune thyroid disease. I say mimicked because the doctor felt the high inflammation and white count were results of the RA/RD and sjogren’s. So that was interesting, he wants to keep an eye on it to ensure I do not actually have Hashimoto’s. In short I’m very glad I listened to my mother and look forward to feeling more like a functional person.

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