I haven’t been writing. Not here, and not at all. If/when I write about something it makes it more real to me. However I set out with the intention of full transparency when I started RA Supergirl years ago. So let’s get honest, things have been bad. I was in a fender bender over the summer and it kicked my RA up in a really weird way. Then I started the most difficult semester I will ever be in. People in my program tend to average 3-6 hours of sleep and are under immense stress. This has only made things worse on my end. I am failing a class despite making Dean’s List last semester. I’m so tired and my pain level so high that I can’t focus on my assignments. There are times when I become so anxious that I want to curl up under my desk and stay there. I’ve started to develop rheumatoid nodules on my hands, this indicates things may be worse than we thought. I feel like a failure as a wife, I have been too sick to grocery shop for 2 weeks [thank god for Blueapron]. I just started a month-long Prednisone treatment in an attempt to arrest what is going on.
All that aside there have been some positive developments in my world as well. I have an interview for an excellent opportunity in urban education next week. I finally went off the thyroid medication that was making me sick [more on that later]. My crazy supportive husband has been doing his best to help me despite being in grad student hell a the moment. Rosh Hashanah is just around the corner along with the other high holidays, I’m really excited for that. Finally, I started a job as an entomology lab technician, I really enjoy it! As a whole I’m trying to look at what could be rather than what currently is.
I’m sorry this was not an inspirational post, but it was an honest one.